Ephesians 5:22-6:9: God Honoring Relationships

The need to set Christian worship on a right foundation is the starting point for the understanding of the relation between Christ and His church. It will be helpful as we expand our study of that relation to the honor of Christian marriage if we focus on a few important points.

Christ is the head of the church, His body, and this reflects the order of creation itself. Christ was before all things and the church came after Him, filling the role of completing His gospel ministry. Man was first created but was incomplete (alone) and woman came after completing the proper relation God has ordained.

Christ insists on an obedient church to His leadership and the divine order is first His leading and then His church following. Christ gave all in humility for the church to exist. He led by serving and humbling Himself to arrange proper order. This service is reflected in the order Paul teaches for marriage.

Christ looks on His church as part of Himself and cares for it as such. Husbands are to have the same care for their wives.

This order is not to be in domination but focused only upon willing service by both Christ and His church in reverent order. There is a sacred union between Christ and His church and holy marriage is to be led by His example and is to be also a sacred union. Both these unions are God ordained and secured in His Word.

This order goes back inside the Old Testament to the theme ofYahweh's choice of marriage to Israel in the beginning and flows to the new Israel in the New Testament. He chose this ideal relation for Himself in Hos 2:16, Is 54:4-5, Is 62:4-5, & Ez 16:7-8. He sent His Son in a ministry of self surrender to secure this marriage in sacrifice and holy design. God seems to not be willing to expect less of husbands as He teaches us in Genesis because married partners are "one flesh" in His eyes.

It is obedience and submission the church offers the Lord, based only in love. Both marriage partners are to submit (in different ways) in the same theme, in love.

Because of the grace of God shown toward us in Christ and due to the gratitude we experience as redeemed believers, we must "walk worthy of the calling" (Eph 4:1). As members of His holy church, this walk involves serving one another. This service is different for each as each are bestowed with different callings. Pastors serve the Lord differently than a layperson. Husbands and wives are to serve one another according to this principle of mutual Christian service.

Wives must follow the leading of their husbands, and are not required in scripture to follow all other men. A husband's authority in this holy union is not absolute. A wife is taught here to submit to her husband" ... as to the Lord ... " therefore she follows his direction as long as he does not ask her to sin.

Husbands must love their wives humbly even when they do not submit themselves to his leading and wives must love their husbands even when the husband is not showing love. Wives are never called to remain in a situation where they or their children are abused in any way. The union is based upon love, not submission to evil things not so based.

Wives are not required to keep silent when a husband is about to make a foolish decision. Good husbands realize this and lead their wives with love that puts the interest of the wife and family ahead of this own; just as Jesus did. Christian husbands are accountable to love their wives as Christ loves the church, and a strong concern for the spiritual well being of the wife is essential to this love. Christian spouses rightly loving each other as the Lord has approved in holiness is a beautiful relation modeled upon the perfect beauty of Christ and His church.

We must not forget that Jesus submitted Himself to the Father's leadership but not because He is inferior to the Father (John 5:19 & John 12:49). After all, the two share one essence (with the Holy Spirit) and one is not greater than the other even if each has different roles. Husbands and wives are also equal in dignity in the same manner. In verses 28-30 Paul commands (inspired by God) husbands to treat their wives as well as they treat themselves. In verses 31-32 he teaches that doing so creates a relation that properly mirrors the bond between Jesus and His people.

Husbands who sacrifice themselves for their wives, physically or emotionally, depict the nature of the Lord in redeeming His people. Wives who rightly submit to the leadership of their own husband's authority remind all people how we are to live under God's Word. Believers must maintain firmly that marriage has a divinely determined purpose, and that purpose is to follow the example given us of our Savior and His church.

God's call is for love and respect to be the basis of the holy union of marriage. It is a call for two people to set aside their own preferences in the interest of living before the face of God in such a way that shows the world why the Christ-church bond is the most beautiful relationship in all creation.

In like manner children are to obey parents honoring the original fifth commandment (the command with promise of long life if obeyed). That obedience comes from the nurture of our children in loving kindness, not in wrath. Proper treatment of children who then properly respond is the desire of the Lord.